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@  Richie : (17 February 2018 - 06:48 PM)

Roxanne

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Roxanne

@  trippy : (17 February 2018 - 01:34 AM)

Thanks Dick, maybe I got booted. Lol

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@trippy..Just logged on now ..all good :D

@  Dicko63 : (17 February 2018 - 01:04 AM)

@trippy..I was on it about 1 hr ago .all good for me

@  trippy : (17 February 2018 - 12:58 AM)

Is the DIA website down?

@  Red Horse : (16 February 2018 - 10:47 PM)

It’s real people. Some people are dying for any possible conspiracy. I was calling their BS on Twitter & getting 500+ likes per post.

@  BatGuano : (16 February 2018 - 10:06 PM)

Bots.

@  grahamuk : (16 February 2018 - 02:12 PM)

Exactly. Morons. Shame the media waste space on them. Oh, of course. Most of them are fkin morons too.

@  doctor who : (16 February 2018 - 09:09 AM)

Well Grahamum, I for one hope they werent Acting, Because the Cremations and burials are due next week,,,And that Hurts

@  grahamuk : (16 February 2018 - 08:56 AM)

So do we give these morons the attention they are seeking ?

@  Red Horse : (16 February 2018 - 08:10 AM)

They actually claim the school boys & girls are too polished & must be actors reading cue cards provided by media.

@  grahamuk : (16 February 2018 - 07:56 AM)

Well... people believe in 'god' don't they ?

@  Biggles : (16 February 2018 - 06:50 AM)

Its hard to believe anyone could be that dumb. Do they think all the grieving family members in the media are part of some huge conspiracy.,

@  Red Horse : (16 February 2018 - 12:58 AM)

It never happened they say. Just a hoax. ;-)

@  stew : (16 February 2018 - 12:21 AM)

manslaughter ?

@  Red Horse : (15 February 2018 - 11:09 PM)

There are some people claiming the school shooting in Parkland, Florida is a hoax and was staged. Trying to talk them down on Twitter.

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Good morning flying out early any suggestions for decent hotel close to Manila airport?

@  grahamuk : (15 February 2018 - 03:14 PM)

I favour the pragmatic approach too.

@  doctor who : (15 February 2018 - 10:21 AM)

Philippines president Rodrigo Duterte has offered a nearly $A630 bounty for each communist rebel killed by government forces to save on anti-insurgency costs and says insurgents are easier to hit than birds because they have bigger heads.



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Getting Married To Bar Girl After One Year

marriagebar girl burgos makati province western union military veteran

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320 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   American_Expat

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 08:33 PM

Gents, It's time.. I decided to give her the ring.

I have read so many posts about guys sending money to bar girls. I've learned a lot in this journey and seen so many of the same warning signs for the first 3-4 months I have known her. Then I took control of the situation and started demanding things. I was lucky in that I was frequently THERE with her which I think makes all the difference no matter what country you or your girl are in. If your girl was in Florida and you were in New York, wouldn't you buy her plane tickets to come see you, or pay for all dates out and give lots of gifts? Ahhh..see? As westerners we are easily played. These girls are experts at what they do, especially the ones that have been in the scene for a long time. Anyway here are some stats and basic truths about my situation, and if you like, I can share the whole story with you personally if you find yourself following this rabbithole...I can tell you now, It's not always a good time.

I am 41, divorced, 2 kids, been around the world on and off with military and as a civilian. I have plenty of experience with girls of all sorts. Had a great wife but she was a gold digger (go figure I'm now marrying a Filipina bargirl!!..). I don't need any advice on meeting or finding girls, especially in the paytoplay category, but I lean on friends for answers a lot because I don't think rationally when it comes to girls. About all I am good at is working hard and staying in shape, guess that's why the military likes me.

I was looking for a wife when I found her though I didn't know it or think it at that time. I met her early 2011 at a bar in P. Burgos Makati. Barfined one night, I was hooked. Barfined again like 8 nights in a row and left town for 4 months. In those 4 months we traded love messages. I traveled to other places, enjoyed other girls, but always wanted her and ONLY her. After a month she asked for money the first time. I thought long and hard about it, and finally sent her a paltry 5000P and sent it again each month. Knowing it was just to secure her availability for when I returned in town and nothing more, I still felt guilty- guilty of leading her on more than guilty of falling into a trap. I sent her flowers here and there, cards, some gifts, but I had another girl in the U.S. at the time so things were never too serious. Each of us had our "situation" to deal with.

I went back again and again for work monthly after the long stint away from her. Each time I arrived in Manila she was there waiting for me at the airport. It was great. After knowing her 6 months I started to feel truly bad about her in the bar, but before that it didn't bother me (again, we had our own situations to deal with). I knew what she was up to, she knew what I was up to. We didn't talk about the details, but we knew.. After all, neither of us were monogamous. When I was in town, we had great times. When not in town, she was in the bar. So I upped the ante. I agreed to pay her way out of the bar by giving money to her mother and father, and secretly to her - long story.. It was not enough at first but over time she slowly started staying home more and more. We talked seriously about being together in the spring. She wanted a baby, I called her bluff; said she's too young (18) and not ready - she said all her friends are pregnant or have kids, I said, yeah..that's why they are in the bar. I decided, to seal the deal I need to get her out of the Philippines, a million miles away from the bar, or this will never go anywhere. I thought of a phrase my buddy who was supporting an ex-bar girl said to me: "I am not an ATM machine!!". So before I got deep into any commitment more than 5-10,000P/month, I needed to know what the future held by being with her, every day and night for a LONG time.

She lives with her family like most Filipinas. I paid dearly to take her away both financially and emotionally. I took her out of the Philippines for weeks at a time repeatedly. We went all over; she accompanied me for my work to Thailand, Malaysia, HK, Sing, and more. During this time on our short return trips to Manila I met her father, mother, brothers, sisters, friends. I became friends with them on facebook, skype, YM, and more. I demanded that I become totally integrated into her life and she did as well. This was tough for her. Finally I went to her Province and saw her real life. I was a guest in weddings, my pictures are in her purse, wallet, house and family members' homes. I call her and her family members by phone and have a remedial handle of Tagalog and some Cebuano.

If you are not achieving this level of a relationship with your girl in a reasonable period of time, then you need to be the boss and do that before you start letting your wallet get tied to your emotions. These girls need money, yes, but not at the expense of your stress and efforts if not being reciprocated. Let go of the idea that you make tons of money and they are poor and it makes you feel bad. It's not about feeling bad, it's not about charity. For them, it's survival. For you, you need a girl. Until you go both feet in AND can BE WITH HER frequently, she sees you as manipulating her young self and you see her as manipulating your pocketbook. It is an exchange and you need to establish truth and honesty before having any future. If you learn about the culture of poor people and about the Filipinos it will help make sense.

I learned that as much as we have to try and trust a girl that is UNTRUSTWORTHY because of the nature of her work, these girls also need to learn to trust a foreigner who swoops in, nails her twice a day and then leaves. Think of it from the other side..

If anyone likes I can PM the details of this, but I hope to start a thread with this about a relationship with a bar girl that CAN ACTUALLY lead to marriage, against all odds and adversity..

It's been 2 months since we were engaged. I did it outside the Philippines for a reason. I recommend you do as well. We are to be married in the spring near Manila, and married again in the U.S. in the fall after a spousal visa is approved. In the meantime, we see each other every month, chat all day every day and we have true, verified, isolated trust established. Trust goes both ways..if we break communications for more than a few hours and are not sleeping, we each get concerned.

If you choose this path, it is a hard one. Don't be weak and just send money at every beck and call. It's best to not send money at all. But if you can verify with your own eyes: 1. Where that money is going, and 2. You have a long future with this girl, then try it. Met online? Met one night? Paid the BF and left town? Don't send it unless you have a ticket back to Manila.

Requirements:
1. You: take reasonably good care of yourself and have a future of your own. If you are fat, penniless and stupid every girl in the world will make you pay more for that. Fact is, all girls seek men for security. It's just a matter of how. Whether she is a PhD working in Manhattan or a Provincial girl of poverty, they want a guy to give them security. If you can't provide it, then what do you offer?
2. You: Be able to physically co-locate yourself with her somehow for more than 30% of your time in the first year. Get used to the time change for phone calls and video chat. Get ready to buy lots of rice, food and some gifts when you visit. Make repeated trips to the Philippines. If you can't do that, don't mess with bargirls.
3. You: understand the reality of WHY the girl is in the bar. Accept it all, and her past, or move on.
4. Her: She needs to be mature enough to handle life with you. Look for signs of homelife. Does she cook for her mom or the other way around? Does she clean, wash the clothes of the family?
5. Her: She needs to be young enough to not be "branded a bargirl for life". Some guys say if a girl was in the bar one day she is a bargirl for life. I don't believe that. BUT, if she has been there for 3,4,5,6 years..and has kid(s) from Filipinos or worse, from foreigners or customers, forget it. How long has she supported her family? Is she the only breadwinner? What are her family's expectations of support? You need to acquire these answers.
6. Her: You need to see a rapid, serious change in lifestyle over time. If she repeats her habits, if things don't change, if she promises to leave the bar and then goes back, just move on. Play the game by her rules. Your rules don't work there.

Good luck to you.
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#2 OFFLINE   angry kiwibird

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 08:37 PM

I wish the two of you all the best in your future together :-)

#3 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 10:15 PM

I learned that as much as we have to try and trust a girl that is UNTRUSTWORTHY because of the nature of her work, these girls also need to learn to trust a foreigner who swoops in, nails her twice a day and then leaves. Think of it from the other side..
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
chat all day every day and we have true, verified, isolated trust established. Trust goes both ways..if we break communications for more than a few hours and are not sleeping, we each get concerned.

IMHO, it might be sexist for me to say regarding trustworthiness but I feel their is a big difference between a 41 year old monger and a 18 year old pinay sex worker, they are not equal. The term damaged goods come to mind, and is something you will have to deal with sooner or later.
Also why should trustworthiness be a concern for her about you? You are paying all the bills and support for her family now and into the foreseeable future and giving her US citizenship, so what is she contributing? Your reasoning like a westerner while the girl is a Filipina, it would serve you better if you reason like a pinoy, which is something she can understand and respect.
As for trust and communication is broken for more than a few hours you/her get concerned, if she was a true pinay and not a (ex) sex worker their would not have to be any concern.
You have entered into the beginning of a high risk relationship, not for everyone, not for me, but its your life and your right to do so.
Best of Luck in your Journey

Edited by MrHammer3000, 07 October 2012 - 10:22 PM.


#4 OFFLINE   American_Expat

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 11:05 PM

IMHO, it might be sexist for me to say regarding trustworthiness but I feel their is a big difference between a 41 year old monger and a 18 year old pinay sex worker, they are not equal. The term damaged goods come to mind, and is something you will have to deal with sooner or later.
Also why should trustworthiness be a concern for her about you? You are paying all the bills and support for her family now and into the foreseeable future and giving her US citizenship, so what is she contributing? Your reasoning like a westerner while the girl is a Filipina, it would serve you better if you reason like a pinoy, which is something she can understand and respect.
As for trust and communication is broken for more than a few hours you/her get concerned, if she was a true pinay and not a (ex) sex worker their would not have to be any concern.
You have entered into the beginning of a high risk relationship, not for everyone, not for me, but its your life and your right to do so.
Best of Luck in your Journey


No question about the damaged goods part. But she was damaged before she started working. It's a sad story and I didn't believe it for months until I put all of the pieces together. What she contributes is what she proved to me already. We lived like a married couple for 6 months. The proof for me was in her daily actions. I know what to expect when I take her out of her country for good because I already did it once - and I can't recommend to every other guy thinking of marrying a girl out there to do the same.

I did not communicate that part about trustworthiness clearly. Actually she is quite trustworthy, though her chosen career path is morally wrong anywhere; and I accepted it. I should have written that we were not serious or honest with each other (either of us) in the beginning. It leaves a lingering trust glitch that will take a long time to correct on both sides. We are almost there..I wouldn't have given her the ring and she wouldn't have accepted it without moving beyond our issues. But they creep up every now and then. Certainly she is suspicious when an attractive friend on fB posts something..she immediately assumes too much. Just like I get nervous when she goes to "the city". Because I remember what "going to the city to work" used to mean.

I am very disappointed when I read about guys shelling out extraordinary amounts of money having not even met the family, being friends on facebook, or staying over at "her place". Without those kinds of bonds, and not isolating her from her country for awhile, how can you have hopes of a successful marriage? That's a big gamble. My gamble is more long-term. Her age is the biggest issue. However that comes with the territory of my criteria (18-25 year olds only).

The money part is a big one for me. It's tricky because you make a person dependent on you for the money. So for the guys out there supporting, be careful, lives get wrecked trading money for emotions. You're better off just tipping for a nice time otherwise.

#5 OFFLINE   Craig

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 11:20 PM

Sounds a good relationship - shows that it can work sometimes. All the best for the future.

Craig

#6 OFFLINE   scott_

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 11:52 PM

70% failure predicted.

I know people get married for all kinds of reasons, whether it be political, security, financial, emotional, or even in trade of a goat; but why are you getting married?

This whole post comes across as you proving a point to all the nay sayers who don't think bar girls are relationship material, let alone life partners. Or is it more personal than that? Are you proving to yourself that your first failed marriage can be salvaged by this new one?

The made mention of a lot of words in your post, but the only time love was mentioned was when you were referring to a massage. Love and marriage are two separate things and only enhance each other but are not required of the other.

Please help me to understand what you gain out of this marriage, because as far as I can tell it's a very lopsided proposition entirely in her favor.

#7 OFFLINE   Rograd

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 12:33 AM

I've learned long ago that there are these types of relationships that turn out well, some that turn out very badly. It just depends on the person. However, I think you (Ex_Pat) has about a good a handle and rational view going into this as anyone can or would. Just the fact that your stepping back from the emotional thought process and looking at this from an intellectual one is a good step. Wish you the best moving forward and let us know how its turning out.

#8 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 01:03 AM

Her age is the biggest issue. However that comes with the territory of my criteria (18-25 year olds only).
The money part is a big one for me. It's tricky because you make a person dependent on you for the money.

IMHO, some huge hurdles I can see are:
Age, an 18 year old pinay is the emotional equivalent to a 12 year old western girl.
Money, since she has no money and no education you will have to be sole support for her and her family
No ability to get a job in the USA
Adjusting to the USA and being away from her family
You and her dealing with her bar girl past history with its psychological damage.
Learning pinay mentality and filipino culture, one year is not enough time to learn and understand either

#9 OFFLINE   richard1950

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 02:02 AM

If she is a mature thinking 18, going on 28, then go with your feelings.
If she's moody, rides an emotional roller coaster, perhaps rethink.
It's OK to ask for advice here, but also try to think this through logically on your terms. You and your future wife will have to deal with your choices together.

Yea, its a big age difference, but I have American friends, married to Americans with age differences of about 20 years,
and things are going well.

I'm 62, in a relationship with an ex pinay bargirl of 30, but I'm ready to retire and move to the Phils in two years.
Most of the replies regarding my situation have been negative. But that's OK, I posted so I want to hear the opinions/advice of others.

But at the end of the day, make a logical choice.

IMHO, it's easier to move to the Philippines than to move a pinay to your country.
It's a huge adjustment and just adds to the chance of a bad relationship/marriage.

Good luck and wish you all the best.

#10 OFFLINE   QBar

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 02:43 AM

SOURCE: Stats Canada
Divorce Rates around the World
Sweden 55%, US, Australia 46%, United Kingdom 43%, Canada 40%

I have seen many foreignor marriages over the years (both to bargirl and non-BG) and I would guess that the divorce rates would be less than the numbers quoted above. Where there is love there is hope. Mine lasted 32 years with no regrets. Good luck.

#11 OFFLINE   xenophobia

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:01 AM

A very long shot I would say , but I hope you.ve picked a winner its possible , your best bet is to wait a bit more I would say ,most married guys will tell you not to get married but you probably know deep down as well its dangerous dont you .. very good luck , cheers
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#12 OFFLINE   lavista4u

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:10 AM

Sorry, I have to be blunt, you are digging your own grave and sad that you haven't learned your lesson at all from your previous marriage. Americans are one of the most failed romantic, impulsive kind on planet....with over 50% divorce rate in America wasn't enough, you cross over the Atlantic still to find that illusive love. You ain't gonna get it.

And that too with a bar girl of 18 years, common what are you thinking. Your choices on this world would be completely different than hers. Its different DNA make up so to speak....you are chasing that illusive dream that we fall into 99% of the time...odds are against you..

Marriage as a concept itself is not natural, its just a system to make society appear normal. Its opposite to our biological nature. Unmarried men are far more happier than married men even in this forum.

Once you get married to a Filipina in PH, there is no divorce. you should be aware of that. Plus your alimony support in US.

It seems like you are creating a sex prison in both side of the Atlantic.

Why you doing this to yourself is beyond my understanding. Think this through man. Let me also also state this perfectly clear that you or your gf is not at fault. You both are perfectly fine for each other. Its the SYSTEM, the Society in these age and times that are not conducive for marriage.

You can both stay together as LIVE IN for couple of years in Philippines without any strings attached as see how it all rolls out. Its same as marriage, all you want is to be with her right. so live with her except all the legal tangles of marriage. You will be free to walk away in this situation, she as well. Give her some choice too.
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#13 OFFLINE   another bastard

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:31 AM

Hope you're the exception to the other sad tales on this forum, which seem to indicate that bargirls don't recover from being bargirls. Not sure complete mutual trust is workable with her background, hiyu and cultural differences.

Would be interested in an update when you're back in the states in a few months post marriage. Having been slaughtered financially via divorce myself, I hope you've given a prenup due consideration.

Will keep my fingers x'd for you.

#14 OFFLINE   scott_

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 04:14 AM

Sorry, I have to be blunt, you are digging your own grave and sad that you haven't learned your lesson at all from your previous marriage. Americans are one of the most failed romantic, impulsive kind on planet....with over 50% divorce rate in America wasn't enough, you cross over the Atlantic still to find that illusive love. You ain't gonna get it.

It seems like you are creating a sex prison in both side of the Atlantic.


The Pacific Ocean

#15 OFFLINE   Kinky Kiwi

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:11 AM

Also why should trustworthiness be a concern for her about you? You are paying all the bills and support for her family now and into the foreseeable future and giving her US citizenship, so what is she contributing?


It's a rather materialistic view you have here when you ask what is she contributing. Sure she brings no material wealth into the relationship and having her as a wife could be a larger financial burden when supporting her family. So what does she bring? He is 41 and she is 18. He gets to sleep each night with a hot young 18yo. He has companionship which is why most go to the Philippines in the first place, whether it be a 24hr GFE or more. Are their risks? Yes, the age and the culture ones are two that come to mind but he is willing to roll the dice. Only advice I would give him is get an iron tight pre nup if things do go south.
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#16 OFFLINE   Minam

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:20 AM

The Pacific Ocean


LOL, maybe he's doing a stopover in Amsterdam...

#17 OFFLINE   charliedk

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:37 AM

ooh boy,
I wrote about this awhile back so I'll make it short..
married a AC bargirl cherry girl..she was 20 and I was 50..
we both fell in love but took things slow..it would be my second marriage and didn't want to think with my dick after I popped her cherry..
spent 3 months living with her in Manila and 2 months living with her parents in Negros occ..I flew back and forth from cali many times after I decided to propose to her to set up the fiance visa..
so over a year later off she came with me to cali..
it was a great 9 years together and we had so many good times..
however I knew from the start that the marriage would never last but wtf, the whole thing was a great experience..
#1 was the age difference..
#2 she wanted a baby..
#3 she became so americanized so fast I didn't know what hit me..you can't keep a girl locked up in your house..before I knew it she had a bunch of Filipina gfs and was going out all the time..
trust me..she will become bored at your place and this leads to constant arguments..since they miss their family and friends they need contact with other Filipinas..

a pre nup is a smart move..if she doesn't want to go for it then give this whole thing some more thought..
we got married in Nevada and 2 years later in the PI..I'm happy I got married in the PI because no matter how tempted I get again I can never bring home or marry another girl from the PI..no divorce there..

I wish you the best..it seems like you have given this some serious thought..
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#18 OFFLINE   Steely Dan

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:41 AM

Sir, with all due respect, you do know that the odds against you are in the area of 1000 to 1? Right?

There are so many flaws in your logic, that I feel compelled to help (again, no disrespect intended). The pitfall that stands out in my mind as being one of the top unforeseeable errors, is thinking that any 18 year old is mature. Do you know any mature 18 year olds in the States? What makes your girl mature? Poverty? Sexual experience? The fact that she can cook? I quote your post here: "She needs to be mature enough to handle life with you." Will she still want you when she does mature?

I hope this doesn't sound like just some cloaked self promotion, but there are a lot of similarities in our stories - especially towards the end - so you may want to follow mine here: http://www.philippin...ee-for-members/ . You will need to get upgraded by the mods to see it for free.

Good luck. All is not lost. Just be aware of the pitfalls and make the best decision for you. No one can tell you how to live your life, and we all need to make our own choices.

Edited by Peterpeter, 08 October 2012 - 06:31 AM.

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#19 OFFLINE   tonybrookes

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:06 AM

I read all the downers here giving you advice about the folly of your plans, sound advice though from their experience. I am a newbie with no experience of bargirl culture, (my experience being of marrying an african girl that ended in divorce after 4 years) but all I will say is that I wish you well. Love is not something where we tend to be emotionally or intellectually detached when it comes to making life changing decisions and no amount of well meaning advice will change your intentions. All of us here should be happy for you.

#20 OFFLINE   Steely Dan

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Donator

Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:43 AM

#1 was the age difference..
#2 she wanted a baby..
#3 she became so americanized so fast I didn't know what hit me..you can't keep a girl locked up in your house..before I knew it she had a bunch of Filipina gfs and was going out all the time..
trust me..she will become bored at your place and this leads to constant arguments..since they miss their family and friends they need contact with other Filipinas..


Three big pitfalls right there. Watch out, there are more around the bend.

#21 OFFLINE   Captain Save-A-Hoe

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 08:03 AM

Please have the guts to post back here when this all goes wrong. I'm subscribing for updates :)

#22 OFFLINE   STT

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 08:20 AM

American_Expat,

I read and reread your post I even went out to the pool and had coffee and a swim before replying to your post.
I sat down and began to type but then I stopped and I said to myself >>>> my reply needs more consideration >>>> So myself and the girls ordered delivery from the French place here in A City and ate late lunch.

During lunch I kept on saying over and over what do I say to this man >>>> in his prime at age of 41.

Best to just say hope it works out and leave it at that, but since you are a Western >>>> was military >>>>> been through a divorce before and Mongered in many places >>>>>> you should have Thick Skin.

My conclusion is you are a Provider, it happens, some men are just wired that way and I think you are one of them. I could write a thesis on how I came up with that but the dissertation would go on and on about how I factored it up.

Being a Provider is AOK >>>> it is what you do >>>> it is who you are, we are all different and there are men that feel it is their called duty/mission to Provide everything under the sun to an attaching person and or group of persons.

OK, here it comes and it is not going to be pretty and nice >>>> it will be like getting cut with a dull knife but I will be as tactful as possible.

Remember I did Ponder, your post for several hours today before I posted this.

I will put this in American terms so you will catch it extremely fast.

The House has a fix in and the odds are Not in your favor.

However, who the heck knows you might pull a 21 out of the cards you are playing.

What ever you do DO NOT turn to the bottle if things do not turn out positive with your current found love which you are Providing for.

Best wishes on your marriage plans and new family to be.

Respectfully thought over and written
Good Luck on Your Journey
STT
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#23 OFFLINE   rangitoto1957

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 08:33 AM

IMHO an 18 year old still has a lot of growing up to do, so the person you are thinking of marrying may think a lot differently about the world and what she wants at 25, I would advise against marrying any female that age from anywhere in the world, better you take your time for her to mature and decide what she really wants, why not let her study and graduate say over four years before your next move, if she is academically capable that is

Edited by rangitoto1957, 08 October 2012 - 08:35 AM.

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#24 Ex-Addict_bairdlander_*

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 11:05 AM

Marry her in PI,dont bring her to USA.But if you do consider getting a franchise or business there and bringing her family as OFW's?Keep your job and open a small business or buy some investment condo's in PI.Even think about buying her a small business like a mall kiosk,just to kep her busy while you are away working.Maybe buy a small hotel and employ her family?That way you dont have to give them support to sit around.No matter what happens the demands for money will get bigger and bigger,there will be a constant flow of "emergencies" or birthday gifts for various relatives and weddings.Realize you are now responsible for her ENTIRE family,if that ok go for it.

#25 OFFLINE   Heisenberg

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 12:45 PM

I was going to do a lengthly reply but most of the previous posters have already done a good job so I'll just reiterate a few points..

1) She is 18 years old, you are 41, which means a 23 year age difference. Well, if she was 28 and you were 51, it's still a 23 year age difference but I could *potentially* see it. However, as someone pointed out, there in no such thing as a mature 18 year old. There is a HUGE difference between someone 18 and 28 years old in terms of maturity. Think about that - 18 years old. As in, just graduated from High School. What would everyone back in your world think if you married a girl who just graduated from High School? I assume you'll tell me, "I don't care what anyone thinks" but day in and day out, this is what you will be having to deal with. Be prepared for a lot of stares back home.

2) The whole post seems to be one big rationalization of how your situation is so much different than what other guys have done before you and you are telling us how it is, yet I see red flags all over your situation. You are rationalizing when you say how guys spend money and haven't even met the girls family. So what? As if that's going to make any difference? I'm sure they're nice folks and all, but they'll take you for the same ride she will without any problem.

3) Charliedk had a situation similar to yours and he had a good 9 year run. You know what the difference between him and you is? He popper her cherry. Yes, it makes all the world of difference. In fact, from the way he describes it, he could have stayed with her but didn't want a baby.

4) Just from my observations, the most successful cases of marriage between foreigners and Filipinas occur when the guy is living in the Philippines and not bringing her back home. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions to that, just my observation

5) What kind of job can someone 18 years old who is not fluent in English get back in the USA right now with the economy the way it is? What will she do during her down time, watch TV all day long? She'll get bored! She'll hook up with other Filipina, oh yes. And honestly, they're usually not good influences.
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