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That is just awful to say docwho.

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The War has begun (not the one with North Korea, the Breitbart war on you know who!) Poor timing for a trip to the PI. Speaking of the PI, the body count in Manila and Bulacan this week is truly frightening.

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News here has it up to 14 confirmed dead now :(

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De-Programming Your Pinay Princess


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#1 OFFLINE   Mr Tinkles

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 07:27 AM

Consider the possibility one day you find the 'one'. She is pleasing to the eye, a great housekeeper, fun to be around, & a naughty girl in the bedroom

Is it possible to de-program her with regard to family & financial matters so she provides for her husband and children first & foremost, & her parents and siblings a distant second?

Or is the pride that goes with being 'chief financial benefactor' to the leeches just too irresistable for her, just too ingrained into her psyche?

I can see this being a bone of contention in relationships

Edited by Mr Tinkles, 07 July 2012 - 09:50 AM.



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#2 ONLINE   Mentalist

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:18 AM

so whos going to help her parents? they dont have welfare the way western countries do. i would say no way. you have to compromise i would think. good luck with that.

#3 ONLINE   feffen

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:28 AM

A very good question Mr Tinkles.

I think being aware of the problem is a good start. Too many don't understand what's going on before they have made substantial investments, both economical and emotional, before it's too late.

#4 OFFLINE   athaiguy

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:38 AM

Consider the possibility one day you find the 'one'. She is pleasing to the eye, a great housekeeper, fun to be around, & a naughty girl in the bedroom

Is it possible to de-program her with regard to family & financial matters so she provides for her husband and children first & foremost, & her parents and siblings a distant second?

Or is the pride that goes with being 'chief financial benefactor' to the leeches just too irresistable for her, just too ingrained into her psyche?

I can see this been a bone of contention in relationships


I was married to one for 22 years great Mother and Wife but she told me I would never be as important to her as her birth family

#5 OFFLINE   ianoverseas

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:30 AM

I was married to one for 22 years great Mother and Wife but she told me I would never be as important to her as her birth family


Even after kids together? Fck that's seriously harsh! :Hairout1:
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#6 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 11:58 AM

Is it possible to de-program her with regard to family & financial matters so she provides for her husband and children first & foremost, & her parents and siblings a distant second?

so whos going to help her parents? they dont have welfare the way western countries do. i would say no way. you have to compromise i would think. good luck with that.

The earlier you realize the potential problem the sooner you can D-program her, if she is the oldest female child, it will be especially tough. Also if she comes from a very poor family and has little or no education the burden will fall 100% on you. I feel first acknowledge the problem as early as possible, and come to an agreement on how much support to give to the parents and hold fast to that amount, make sure you control the family money so you can see monthly the out flow of cash.

I was married to one for 22 years great Mother and Wife but she told me I would never be as important to her as her birth family

Common

Edited by MrHammer3000, 07 July 2012 - 11:58 AM.


#7 OFFLINE   Kulturakid

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 12:13 PM

I agree that you have to be aware of this first. The reason being that you can choose a gf whose family is financially stable. I was with one girl who, when asked if she would be sending money to her brother, responded, "why would i do that?" Needless to say I was surprised. I think they have a member in the family who is an OFW so that helps. But I told her from the getgo I wouldn't be having her sponsor her family to come to America if it ever came to that and she had no problems with it. With that being said there's no health insurance in the PI that covers medicines and more expensive surgeries so expect that the donation bag to come around for that - big time. Oh and another big one is godchildren and nieces/nephews. They want to buy gifts on bithdays and Christmas. The good news is that they're happy with toys from the market.
Mind you I will in the future contribute to healthcare expenses for people that I know from her province. I do enjoy that community aspect of the Philippines. But there's a difference between contributing to healthcare expenses and funding college educations and you have to be clear where you draw the line. If she's with you for the money you have to control the money.

#8 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:28 PM

But I told her from the getgo I wouldn't be having her sponsor her family to come to America if it ever came to that and she had no problems with it.
. But there's a difference between contributing to healthcare expenses and funding college educations and you have to be clear where you draw the line. If she's with you for the money you have to control the money.

IMO: I don't know your exact circumstance so my general response is that if you marry that girl she will without doubt in 99% of cases petition her mother/father to your country. Thats basic with all pinay.
If she has younger siblings or n nephew that need tuition assistance 99% will give,
You will find this out after your married.
If your girls mother and father have good jobs, they may pay, but unlikely.
If your girl is the oldest female sibling in her family 99.99% will pay and send money home, its their responsibly and they cherish it.
If a pinay says she agrees with you on matters of her family, she usually doesn't really agree with you.

Edited by MrHammer3000, 07 July 2012 - 02:37 PM.


#9 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:32 PM

edit

Edited by MrHammer3000, 07 July 2012 - 02:35 PM.


#10 ONLINE   SuckMyRocket

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:40 PM

Family is very important in the Philippines, You will join the family but you will never remove her from it.

#11 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:52 PM

Family is very important in the Philippines, You will join the family but you will never remove her from it.

And her family will always be more important than you.

#12 ONLINE   oceanwhisperer

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 04:09 PM

And her family will always be more important than you.


correct!

#13 ONLINE   feffen

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 04:25 PM

About the question of actually being able to deprogram the behavior of trying to bring as much money as possible for family from you.

There is no single code for cracking this behavior because we are different. Guy A is 65 and has 2 million $ in the bank. Guy B is 50 and has to make do with a budget of 1500 $ per month.

This is how I do. I'm not saying it's the best way, or even a good way, but it works ok for me.

I rent a place with my gf and no one else is allowed to live there as long as I am paying the bills.

Each month I put 70 000 p in a jar. It will never be less and never more. This money pays the rent, food and personal stuff for both of us. Gf can take what ever amount she likes for herself and family.

Every peso has to be replaced with a receipt or note with an explanation for what a certain amount was used for.

And here is the catch. At the end of the month we go through the jar. There are the usual - rent, food, electric bills and so on. Then there are personal notes from gf like - 5000 for me, and another one 10 000 for family. I say fine and take 5000 for myself and replace it with a piece of paper. Then I withdraw 10 000 for my family and another piece of paper with that amount goes into the jar.

Sometimes money taken out and receipts don't add upp. This missing amount will not find it's way into the jar next month.

Mostly there are quite a lot of money left at the end of the month. This money goes into a joint savings account for both of us.


It was hard for her in the beginning to see a point with this system. But after 3 months there is no problem and it's actually quite fun. I notice that she is now questioning her families needs and constant demand for money. Also she understands the meaning of being frugal with my money because her bank account is getting fatter by the month.

Peace

Edited by feffen, 07 July 2012 - 04:35 PM.

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#14 OFFLINE   bender01

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 05:14 PM

Feffen sounds like a good way to do it , but no way I am going to do that my girls family will be rich if I let them spend as much as me, my sex and gadgets budget even makes my eyes water.

As for de-programming , never expect a pinay to put you before her family, no matter what class she comes from. Also understand you are either paying her to be your sex toy or she is paying you to be her toy. I seen guys who marry above their class and they have to cut their mongering habit out, no girl is worth changing for, sex is the best thing in life.

#15 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 05:49 PM

Each month I put 70 000 p in a jar. It will never be less and never more. This money pays the rent, food and personal stuff for both of us. Gf can take what ever amount she likes for herself and family.

Every peso has to be replaced with a receipt or note with an explanation for what a certain amount was used for.

And here is the catch. At the end of the month we go through the jar. There are the usual - rent, food, electric bills and so on. Then there are personal notes from gf like - 5000 for me, and another one 10 000 for family. I say fine and take 5000 for myself and replace it with a piece of paper. Then I withdraw 10 000 for my family and another piece of paper with that amount goes into the jar.

Sometimes money taken out and receipts don't add upp. This missing amount will not find it's way into the jar next month.

Love your system :WinkGrin1:

#16 ONLINE   Mentalist

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 03:02 AM

If your girl is the oldest female sibling in her family 99.99% will pay and send money home, its their responsibly and they cherish it.


i wonder what the brainwashing process is that lead them to cherish the role, if they in fact do cherish it. why is it that the responsibility falls on one set of shoulders, even when others are equally capable of contributing...

Edited by Mentalist, 08 July 2012 - 08:02 AM.


#17 OFFLINE   markscott

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:09 AM

find an orphan,,,,serious,,not joking
or one that is an only child etc
or abandoned as a child and grand parents are not about,,
and maybe not a girl with kids already,

but if you can de program her to not care for her family, she has walang puso, no heart and she will de program you too,
she will just keep all the money for herself,
mentalist :
" i wonder what the brainwashing process "...i think that process is called LOVE
and they imho share the load,,not just on one kid.

Edited by markscott, 08 July 2012 - 06:20 AM.


#18 OFFLINE   Paul_QLD

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:16 AM

So why is ti the eldest daughter responsibility to provide, what do the sons do ?

#19 OFFLINE   bender01

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:33 AM

So why is ti the eldest daughter responsibility to provide, what do the sons do ?


They have a pussy, like us the boys pay for pussy.

That's why we come here, plenty of pussy.

#20 ONLINE   oceanwhisperer

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 08:43 AM

This is our role, destination and fortune - we pay always for what ever we do. It is more interesting to see what you get for the time, cash and care we invest.

The easies way is to come here, get your BG's pay for them and go home after a while. Just sex, no feelings, no trouble, no involvement in family stuff etc.

But if we start to stay for longer periods in the country, even thinking to get settled, have a GF, etc. then I bet it is us who get re-programmed in quite a considerable way. When it comes to a relation-/partnership both parties should consider each others likings, dislikings, live situation, family etc. If things don't match perfect, you can talk, if it still does not match you leave her or she leaves you. Rules should be tough but also realistc and the girl or girls must understand what it is about. Never stay if you feel looted or not well treated.... and make sure there is a good amount of respect her family pays to you! If they consider you as a silly sugardaddy your are probably one...... make a test now and then and say NO to something ...... you will see on there reaction what it is all about....

Also be aware your word is usually taken very serious.... if you don't keep what you tell you will not make it long without getting trouble... and be straight forward and honest.... they maight not like it in the first, but usually accept it if you have a point. It is important to know a bit about there culture the law and also accept it! Not everything is good what comes from USA or EU!

What do I get? A nice GF, sexy also in public what I like, absolute loyal and reliable, open to almost everything what I like, loves good sex, boats, sailing and the sea, fishing, learned diving, has a good sense of humour is prepared to company me to every place I want to go and this is usually not the Club Noah. Other girls, yes, can do, I'm sure sooner or later she will join for 3-somes! Religious issues? I told them from the beginning that I'm not a believer (to believe means NOT TO KNOW!) and not religious but interested in the history of all religions. This led to some very interesting and respectfull discussions with one of her oncles who is a pastor. Her family treats me as a member, respectfull, heartly and with care and love. So.... the re-reprogramming went to both sides.

Edited by oceanwhisperer, 08 July 2012 - 08:46 AM.

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#21 ONLINE   SSS

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 08:57 AM

oceanwhisperer +1. I can relate to everything you say. Well said with much insight.


SSS

#22 ONLINE   bbull

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 09:05 AM

Yeah if you set a monthly limit on joint spending and let her save whatever is left over it does tend to focus her mind but it has to be a hell of a lot less than you would spend on the bars in a month if you were alone. But you need to make sure the savings are kept as savings rather than being siphoned off by the local men, it is important than any local boyfriend has neither access to sex nor money as that will soon enrage him and make his presence obvious.

I have been told by Filipinas that once they have a child with a guy then that new family takes precedence over their own family.

#23 ONLINE   Minam

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 03:22 PM

The cycle slows but there is no simple 'de-programming' as you call it.
Had to make myself clear about every 5 - 6 month as to who is family and who is relatives. After 5 years we are at about 12 month.
If she comes with baggage and you're not prepared to give it simply won't work.

#24 OFFLINE   zmxncbv

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 05:33 PM

i wonder what the brainwashing process is that lead them to cherish the role, if they in fact do cherish it. why is it that the responsibility falls on one set of shoulders, even when others are equally capable of contributing...

My answer to that is its just their culture and its part of the process where we try to understand the pinay mind.
To answer your question, its an honor and responsibility of the oldest sibling to support everyone else.

So why is ti the eldest daughter responsibility to provide, what do the sons do ?

Well if you know anything about pinoy, you can understand, most pinoy are lazy scumbags.

I have been told by Filipinas that once they have a child with a guy then that new family takes precedence over their own family.

Thats not true, especially if your with the oldest female sibling. The foreigner will never be more important to a pinay than her family

#25 OFFLINE   King Herald

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Posted 08 July 2012 - 11:54 PM

I was married to one for 22 years great Mother and Wife but she told me I would never be as important to her as her birth family


And that is why you parted company: because she used you. Maybe you were a hand up, rather than a hand out, but she still made it pretty obvious you were just a rung on the ladder to her families financial emancipation.




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